The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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