As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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