tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
