Where did you get a picture of my penis
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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