butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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