We got so high we made milksteak
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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