Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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