also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
