why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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