If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
