He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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