Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
