Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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