Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
