3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
