were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
