You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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