How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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