So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
The uberlube is also flammable
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
