the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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