i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
