Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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