well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I looked at my own cervix.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
