I wannas sexs uuuuu
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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