I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
