Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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