Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
