i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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