Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize