oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
