dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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