thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
