Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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