we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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