btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
