Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I wish there were birth control emojis
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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