my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
