I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
