when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
do nipples grow back?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
