It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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