i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
