He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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