It's like God shit irony all over that family
pop tarts are not kleenex
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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