She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
