all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
you told grandpa to call you daddy
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
