Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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