I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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