Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
