the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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