hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
