Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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