Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
