I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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