i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
