If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
