remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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