you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
