Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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