oh god the rape fog is back!
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize