pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
don't judge my taste in strippers
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
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