I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
