Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
