Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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